I get this question every day on why people don’t stick to their New Year’s resolutions or why they don’t stay committed to projects or relationships for that matter. There can be many reasons but here are the top five that I see.
- They don’t have a big enough reason “why” yet. If your reason why to change doesn’t supersede your current state, you will stay in your comfort zone. For example, I see patients who want to lose some weight but they say they should go to the gym or they would like to eat well. Their “shoulds” need to become “musts” or they will continue to think about it and not follow through on the plan that is developed for them. On the other hand, when I have patients who have had cancer or serious autoimmune illness, they will do anything to get better and their reason “why” has now become the focal point of their life.
- Too many people think negatively and don’t truly believe they can achieve their goals and dreams. ” Each person has an average of 60,000 thoughts a day! That’s one thought per second in every waking hour! Amazingly, 95 percent are the same thoughts repeated every day. On average, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to pay more attention to negative experiences than to positive ones. ” 1 They lose the battle in their mind before they even finish implementing their strategy. The negative thoughts are persistent and unfortunately many people give up.
- They are not seeing results right away and give up at the first sign of adversity or discomfort. Many people do not like confrontation and instead of working through questions, concerns or issues, they feel it is easier to give up and walk away. They may also simply lose interest in their initial goals as the brain does tend to wander if initial requirements and goals are not met. It is very similar to instant gratification.
- Many people fear being judged or evaluated. “People don’t want to have their ability judged, they’d rather have their effort judged, says Ferrari. Prolonging completion of a task or project could be one way of avoiding that fear of being harshly evaluated. ” 2
- They haven’t built a thorough and complete strategy with the tools and tactics on how to implement it. They also haven’t built in what to do when failure or difficulty arise. They need to learn how to pivot and adjust if required. “Fail to plan then plan to fail.”
Here are some tips that will help you become more successful in your endeavors. Enjoy.
- Make sure you get around people who motivate you and inspire you. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Rohn. Your inner circle and to a greater extent, your network are extremely influential.
- Build rituals and standards into each and every day. Change comes from making a little progress every day. Don’t try and change all at once rather build a foundation day by day. People consistently refer back to their standards so make sure they are ethical, congruent with your beliefs, positive, uplifting and progressive.
- Create a lifestyle around health and wellness. Your nutrition, rest, fitness and stress reduction paradigms are fundamental to your vitality. It goes without saying that quality, real food is great for the body and brain. This will give you the extra energy to work harder. Food is life.
- Always be learning and educating yourself. The more you know, the more value you can bring to the marketplace. “If you want life to get better, you must get better. If you want life to change, you must change first.” Jim Rohn
- Do more, give more and help more. The more you help other people and make their lives a better place, the more your life will improve. You always get back what you give out. Make the world a better place and yours will improve as well.
- What is your reason why? For some people, it is their kids, for others it is accolades, etc. When you have a strong reason why, you will work harder and be motivated.
- Write down your clear and concise targets. Be specific about what you want and visualize the outcome. Your life goes towards what your imagination/mind has put into it.